


Be my Valentine

by Nelioe



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Not Related, Fluff, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 16:41:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9500501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nelioe/pseuds/Nelioe
Summary: Kili is sick of relationships. After another bad break-up he decides to stay single for the rest of his life, he seems to have a tendency of meeting the wrong people anyway. But right when the decision is made he begins to receive little gifts.Prompt fill for the WinterFRE: 141. Break-up





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rillaelilz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rillaelilz/gifts).



> I hope you have an amazing birthday and don't mind that I've written this little thing for you. ^^"
> 
> This was actually only supposed to be a birthday present, but then I noticed it would also fit one of the prompts (141. Break-up) for the WinterFRE, so I decided to combine it. I hope nobody minds. :')

 

 

Kili huffed when he opened the door barely an hour after stepping outside. It was supposed to be a great night, instead he'd suddenly found himself at the end of accusations Kili didn't feel like taking, which had transformed the whole thing into an argument that could only create a disaster. Now his heart was in pieces and there wasn't anything more appealing than hiding in his bed until the world wouldn't look anymore as if it was laughing at him.

He was just struggling out of his boots, however, when the door to the kitchen opened.

“You are back already?” Fili's familiar voice reached his ears. Kili could almost hear the frown on the other's face without looking up. “I thought you wanted to spend the night at Bard's?”

A tired sound left his lips as Kili pulled on his boot, not bothering with undoing the laces.

“Well, seems like I'm never going to spend the night there ever again.”

When he met Fili's gaze it was just in time to see the furrow between his brows melt into an expression of worry.

“What happened?”

Pressing his lips in a thin line, Kili shook his head. The disgusting words the other man had used to attack him weren't really on his ' _need_ _to repeat_ '-list and he was pretty sure he would start crying if he did and this was something he wanted to avoid at all costs. He knew Fili since they were little boys, moved in with him when it was time to study and couldn't imagine a life without his friend, but there were some lines they'd never crossed between them. Crying was one of them.

Yet he wasn't prepared for the blond's stubbornness and after being pulled into the kitchen, with a mug of hot tea placed in front of him, with just the right amount of honey in it, the words seemed to leave him on their own accord. And so he informed his friend of their fight, which had ended with Bard calling him an immature brat and Kili breaking up with the other right on the spot.

“Like, I know he is has children, but does that mean you can't have fun anymore? It's not my fault his parents couldn't look after them today and had to cancel.”

“He is an idiot,” Fili stated in a professional manner. “You are amazing with children.”

“Damn right I am!” Kili hissed outraged. “ _I don’t want them to meet you like that.._ ,” Kili scoffed as he repeated Bard’s words, “like what? Like his fucking boyfriend? If he is ashamed of dating a man then why did he want to date me in the first place?”

What would’ve been so bad about going out for dinner anyway? Sure, it would’ve been expensive, but Kili had even offered paying because, if he had to be honest, he had been thrilled for a moment. He wanted to meet Bard’s kids, had even thought about buying them Christmas presents until his boyfriend asked him not to. What better time could there have been for them to finally get to know each other? To move their relationship to the next level? The last thing he had expected in that moment was to be called immature and a bad influence, when Kili didn’t want to be sent away like a dirty little secret.

Slowly, while he recalled the fight, Kili began to notice a pattern. Every time he handed someone his heart it ended badly. None of his relationships had worked out. He was too loud, his humour terrible, too spontaneous, too messy, too reckless, too hairy, attractive but only good for a couple of nights, had a bad taste and now he was also immature. This was the summary of each relationship he’d dared to enter in the past and eventually it was always him that ended up heartbroken. No one had loved him for who he was so far and even when he’d tried changing for his partner, it hadn’t stopped the occurring break-up.

Kili was sick of hurting and decided right in that moment that it was going to stop from this day on. He could lead a happy life without being in a relationship, many people out there were setting a good example on how it was possible and perhaps he was one of those people that just didn’t work well in such commitments, and there was no shame in it at all. Maybe he had just a habit of feeling attracted to the wrong people, he couldn’t say, but whatever it might be, it was going to stop. Kili was sick of relationships.

“You know what? Fuck Bard and all the others. I’m done with relationships.”

“Now, don’t say that,” Fili tried to encourage him. “Just because of some bad experiences-“

“All of my experiences with relationships were bad,” Kili interrupted him. “I’m sick of being not good enough. Not one of them loved me for who I am, just for certain things and I don’t want to experience that again. No more relationships, alright?”

Fili was wise enough not to challenge him and accepted his decision like the wonderful friend he’d always been. Yet the brunet couldn’t help but feel bad, for he knew Fili was just trying to cheer him up.

“I will just stay single for the rest of my life, seems to be more fun anyway,” he told him half-heartedly.

The worry on Fili’s features was replaced by a small spark of anger reaching his eyes.

“Okay, that’s it. Get up, we are going out.”

“What?” Kili asked, having trouble to follow his friend’s chain of thoughts.

“I’m not letting you mope here. Bard is an arsehole and he doesn’t deserve you. So come on, we’re going for a drink and will make fun of his accent or whatever you want to talk about.”

“No, Fili. I don’t feel like going out.”

But the other had already gotten up and urged him to do the same. After a little bit of prodding, Kili complied. When Fili noticed his reluctance, he smiled at him softly, which looked far more propitiatory than the expression he’d been displaying before.

“I know you don’t feel like it. But you need it.”

And of course, in the end, Fili was right. It didn’t matter that it took Kili annoyingly long to get ready or that he whined during the whole way to the pub that was just a couple of blocks away from the terrace house they were renting, for as soon as they entered, he began to feel a little better already. They came here since they had moved in years ago, appreciated the great atmosphere, the familiar sight of rustic wooden chairs and green plants and Bofur’s jokes. He was serving at the bar tonight as well, his funny hat part of the special charm that belonged to the pub. They had arrived early enough to find a table without trouble and with the first taste of beer the tension slowly started to drain from his body.

Sometimes Kili was amazed that Fili seemed to know him better than he did himself. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

On the next morning Kili awoke with a pounding headache and a taste as if something had crawled into his mouth and died on his tongue. It took his exhausted mind a while to catch up with the events of the last night.

It had been a great time after all. Fili had managed to distract him well and when Bofur had joined them once his shift was over, he had made them laugh until Kili’s tummy hurt. Bard hadn’t been present in his thoughts, not even for a second, instead the dimples in Fili’s smiles had been blinding, which had reminded Kili of the time he had a crush on him.

Falling for Fili wasn’t anything that felt out of the ordinary. With both of them discovering their sexuality in teenage years and spending pretty much every day together, it seemed almost natural one would fall for the other sooner than later. Unfortunately for Kili it had happened during a time Fili was already dating somebody else and so he’d muffled his feelings for him and looked for someone that would return his affection instead.

Remembering how he’d felt some month before their graduation couldn’t rock his decision, though. He was done with relationships and would start with throwing everything out that had made him feel like playing a role this very moment!

With vigour he pushed the blanket off his leaden body, sat up and… had to reach for the bedside cabinet to stop himself from falling face forward back onto the mattress, as a wave of dizziness washed over him. His stomach rebelled violently and required all his strength to keep himself from making a mess on the sheets.

Alright… maybe he would start with cleaning up after a hot shower… and some painkillers… and a coffee… _and_ brushing his teeth. Kili shuddered, feeling like everything but a human. Somehow he managed to get out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom. It was a little humid inside, telling him Fili had probably needed the same treatment. It was reassuring to know he wasn’t the only one that had overdone it last night.

Once all business was taken care of, the zombielike state finally drained from his limbs, yet he wasn’t any less desperate as he entered the kitchen. Fili was already there, munching on some toast while reading the paper, a huge glass of orange juice resting next to the plate. Even though his friend wasn’t such a big fan of coffee in the morning, there was a pot of it already brewed. Kili’s eyes watered in an excessive attack of gratefulness.

“Oh, thank you! You are a lifesaver.”

“Good morning to you, too,” Fili grinned, gaze focused on the article he had to be reading.

“Morning,” Kili sighed relieved as he poured the steaming coffee into the biggest mug he owned.

Fishing also a pill from their little cabinet of useful meds and swallowing it with a sip of coffee, he glanced at the toast thoughtfully, but in the end came to the conclusion that his stomach wasn’t ready yet to handle food. So he took a seat opposite of his friend, wallowing in misery while he waited for the painkillers to kick in.

“Don’t just drink that stuff, though. There is orange juice in the fridge and water if you want.”

Kili rolled his eyes. While he appreciated Fili’s concern, this wasn’t the first time he had to deal with a hangover.

“Yes, mum,” he chaffed, sticking out his tongue.

Fili snorted.

“By the way, there was a letter for you.”

This caught Kili’s interest. Usually he didn’t receive many letters, save for the usual set of bills and flyers.

“A letter? Who sent it?”

Fili shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s anonymous.”

The headache was briefly forgotten as he got up and headed to the side table they used for the mail. It was a simple white envelope, his name carefully written on it in a handwriting he hadn’t seen before. Curiously he ribbed it open and found a self-made card in a soft red colour. _A day without your smile is a bad day_ , it read.

Who would send him such a card?

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Kili tried to forget about the card and dedicated his new state of bachelorship to getting rid of all the stuff he wouldn’t need any longer. Fili helped him with selecting all the products from his shelves in the bathroom he’d used to shave his body thoroughly, since he’d been told for the first time he was too hairy otherwise. From this day on he would let his body hair sprout again. He deserved to be comfortable and so this was what he would accomplish. It helped him to get his thoughts away from Bard for one day more and to make the break-up stick for his treacherous heart, he also deleted his number. No more men in his life. Only friends like Fili.

When he headed towards the dustbin on the next day to dispose of the box filled with shaving foam and other stuff, he found another little card in the letter box, when he decided to check on his way back insight. It was the same delicate handwriting as on the day before and almost looked like someone had tried to copy a very ornate font computer programs had to offer.

With the first card he’d thought it might’ve come from Fili, trying to cheer him up, which was the only reason why he hadn’t thrown it away, but the words he found this time couldn’t come from his flatmate.

 _You stole my heart_ , written into a red heart on a white background, self-made once again.

Fili had never shown any signs of feelings for him that went deeper than friendship. But if the cards weren’t the blond’s way of showing his appreciation, then who was going through the trouble of sending them to him? He couldn’t think of anyone.

Kili tried to shrug it off. He wasn’t interested in relationships anymore and so these cards wouldn’t change his mind. They didn’t stop coming, however. Day after day he found another one in the letter box. Once it came with a single red rose. On another day there was a small box of chocolate and on other’s he came home to a whole bouquet of flowers waiting for him at home with Fili informing him a delivery boy had brought them for Kili.

At first Kili had wanted to throw all of them away. Obviously someone was making fun of him… or perhaps it was Bard, trying to make amends that way. Yet he kept them, for evidence as he liked to tell Fili, to be able to confront the person responsible for them.

The longer it continued, the more he believed it had to be Bard. Sure, he hadn’t called him or anything, but it seemed to be the only logic explanation he could think of. When he waited for his ex to finish work some days later, the encounter didn’t hold the answers he hoped for. While Bard apologised for the way things had ended between them, he still thought the break-up had been for the best for both of them – Kili scowled – and seemed truly confused when the brunet confronted him with his suspicion. Bard wasn’t the sender.

_For the world you are someone, but for me you are the world._

_Never live without laughing, for there are people that can’t live without your laughter._

_You make me happy._

_Instead of flowers, my heart shall be yours._

His head was spinning from all the different confessions of affection he was spoiled with every day. Kili didn’t want to feel like this. Didn’t want to lose his heart again after only just claiming he would guard it more carefully from now on. But he read every card and often looked at them once he’d retired to his room at night and he felt warm and cherished, whenever he looked at them. They weren’t imposing in any way, they were just sweet and intending to put a smile on his face and the longer it continued, the more they were succeeding.

Something else had been brought to his attention in that time as well, though. Something that scared him. Now that his free time wasn’t devoured by dates with men he tried to build a future with, he spent most of his time with Fili and the old closeness returning between them had awoken feelings Kili had believed to have overcome.

Instead he felt his heart beat furiously in Fili’s presence again, blushed whenever he realised he’d lost himself in dimples and deep blue eyes, and barely managed to suppress the desire of kissing his friend. It was dangerous to feel like this. He didn’t want to ruin their friendship. Fili was the only one that never cared about the mess that was Kili’s room, about his terrible table manners and who genuinely enjoyed every second they spent together. He was so used to living with him that despite all of his relationships, he could never see himself moving out.

Perhaps it should’ve made him wonder why Fili was single for years. Perhaps it should’ve made him wonder why Fili never bothered to move out himself, not even during that one serious relationship that had lasted for over three years. To Kili Fili was just Fili and nothing looked ever out of the ordinary with him.

He really should’ve paid better attention.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

On Valentine’s Day Kili returned from an especially long shift. The tiredness seemed to sit deeply in his bones and so he was glad that his only duty consisted of watching a movie on the couch with Fili once he entered the house. He wasn’t in the least prepared for the shower of rose petals when he stepped inside.

Completely dumbfounded he watched as the petals span to the ground, his eyes noticing the dim light and the flickering of candles through the open door to the living room, whereas his mind was too confused to put all those observations into a reasonable context.

“What the hell?” he somehow managed to breathe.

“Oh, thank god it worked!” Fili said as he left the living room, leaving the door wide open now and not just ajar – probably so he would hear when Kili came in – so the brunet managed to spot the set dinner table. “It took ages to attach it.”

“What’s going on here?”

This wasn’t making any sense. Rose petals… seriously? And the light and candles and dinner... It seemed like he missed some major detail, regardless how much he tried to understand what was going on, however, he came up blank. Had Fili invited someone? Was he seeing someone? Kili certainly would’ve noticed considering how much time they had spent together lately.

And then Fili was smiling at him so warmly that it made his knees go weak and finally his mind registered that all of this was meant for him.

“I wanted to make this easier for you,” Fili confessed, crossing the distance separating them, until he would have to do nothing more but to stretch out his hands to clasp Fili’s waist. “You told me, when you were drunk all those weeks ago. You said you are in love with me since school and that you only started dating to forget about me. And it got me wondering if maybe these feelings were the reasons why none of your relationships worked out. These feelings are certainly the reason why I had to end my last one.”

Kili blinked, the intense sense of surprise didn’t seem like it wanted to leave his body. What was Fili telling him? That he ended his relationship all those years ago because…

“What?” he croaked. Little tremors were chasing through his limbs, but he was unable to figure out what emotion was causing them. Was it anticipation? Fear? Excitement? It was mingled to such a thick clump that he couldn’t distinguish one from the other.

Fili’s gentle smile slipped not even once during Kili’s desperate fight for clarity.

“I love you, Kili.”

His heart seemed to miss a beat at the confession, ere it continued in a rapid pace as if it attempted to burst out of his chest.

“It took me a long time to realise it. My last relationship was difficult and while I was happy most of the time I couldn’t take the next step. I couldn’t move out and I felt like something was missing. _You_ were missing and once I understood it, I ended the relationship. But I didn’t know you felt the same way until you broke up with Bard. So let me make this clear now-,“ his friend closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before he reached into his pocket and pulled out a letter.

Staring at it with shock, Kili’s brain finally remembered its purpose again. Now that the pieces were put together, he began to feel a little light-headed. All those declarations of love, Fili’s unrelenting support in all those weeks…

“It was you.” Fili, his best friend, the man he was living with for years, who had always accepted him the way he was, never pushed him into anything he didn’t want and who was the corniest and most wonderful partner Kili could imagine.

Fili shrugged, a little blush forming on his features, causing the smile to sway for the first time.

“I hope I haven’t laid it on too thick. I just wanted to show you that I love you just the way you are. But either way, I hope you accept.”

This time Kili reached for the letter, when Fili held it out to him once again. Carefully he opened it, finding a beautiful self-made card. Three little words rocked his world yet again.

_Be my Valentine!_

There was only one answer, really. Fili loved him and Kili had never managed to silence his feelings for the blond completely. Perhaps he wasn’t really done with relationships just yet, but simply with those that wouldn’t feature Fili as his partner.

And therefore he did the only thing that seemed right in this moment, cupped Fili’s head with his hands and pulled him into a tender kiss.

 

 


End file.
